Grand Theft Auto Four Game Review


Remember the last time I reviewed a video game here? Neither do I. Well, I do speak of video games here as well. Anyhow, here is my review of Grand Theft Auto Four. I am only reviewing story-having games I completed the story of.

The Negatives

  1. I can only have gloves in the Windows version and even then only with a mod!?
  2. Aww… I only get Nine bounty hunt missions?
  3. Where is the Good Citizen bonus I remember from Vice City?
  4. No bounty missions from FIB or from the NOOSE team or anyone? Aww…
  5. The political humor is only true when touching Domestic social issues…

The Positives

  1. Niko Bellic is a really great protagonist
  2. The game play with him is some of the smoothest of the 2000 to 2009 decade
  3. Roman Bellic is a very fun and funny character to observe
  4. Mikihil Faustin [am I spelling his name right?] is an amusingly crazy character
  5. Dimitri Rascolov is a very greatly memorable villain
  6. The FIB police car is a lot of fun to use
  7. As are the NOOSE team trucks
  8. In fact, all the vehicles are intensely fun to drive around
  9. The story is extremely compelling in all the best ways
  10. The graphics are exceptional for a game of 2007
  11. Michelle was a very fun romantic friend for Niko while she was canonically his girlfriend
  12. She also sometimes said funny stuff when inviting Niko to her home
  13. All the humor in this game is crazy-funny to me
  14. Even the political humor compensates for its lack of accuracy on economy and foreign policy by simply being phenomenally funny to laugh at and not with.
  15. Even though he was a very minor character, Vlad was a very intriguing minor villain
  16. The combat is actually the most realistic of any realistic fiction crime-drama game I have ever played.
  17. All the friends are useful in their own way
  18. Dwayne for example, if you choose to let him be a friend, will send a posse of armed people to help you out with whatever
  19. Little Jacob, as another sample, will sell Niko [you] discount firearms
  20. Jimmy Pegorino is amusingly sociopathic as a character
  21. All the McReary family is amusing in one’s own individual way
  22. Patrick McReary, for example, is a cocky guy with a huge amount of bravery and of loyalty to Niko as a regular friend
  23. Francis McReary has an interesting back story, as Patrick puts it in very minimally different wording: “Francis originally, wanted to be a priest. But he got kicked out of the seminary for cheating God. Became a cop instead.”
  24. Plenty of clothing options for a game of this kind in 2007
  25. Innumerable in-game recreation options
  26. One of these options is you get to watch in-game satire shows, including a cartoon
  27. Another is you get to go bowling
  28. You also have the option of seeing a comedy or non-comedy show
  29. There is even an in-game internet surfing system
  30. Darts is a game you can play in the bars with a friend
  31. When you get Niko and a friend of his drunk they are hilarious in what they speak of
  32. It is funny to me how driving one in-game inch drunk magically gets the police after you even when the nearest officer is, hyperbolically, many in-game miles away
  33. There is even a pool-playing option as well
  34. All the different parts of Liberty City have unique names
  35. Alderney is a fun little place to explore, especially driving up the highway bridges there at 400 miles an hour.
  36. Plenty of amusing music on the radio stations in-game although I never use the stations
  37. There is a guy that can be found at Burger Shot or at Clucking Bell interchangeably who says funnier things then I think I will ever hear fast food workers say in real life
  38. There are nine bounty missions you can get in Alderney
  39. There is also a system with police cars where the police computer allows you to explore “Most Wanted”
  40. Algonquin has the most different things to do of all the islands
  41. Bohan is a fun little island, even if there’s a medium number of things to do there.
  42. Dukes, the island you start off at, has a funny name origin according to the in-game history TV show
  43. Dukes also has a neat little airport to play around in and get a 4-star wanted level from doing so
  44. Going to a car wash doubles as going to get your car repainted
  45. The LCPD [in-game police] have a 6-star scale of mindsets that makes sense to me
  46. There is a website in the game you can go to for an instant five-star wanted level should you want any in-game combat
  47. There are phone numbers you can plug into Niko’s phone as cheat codes
  48. Each cheat code looks a lot like magic. Fascinating…

Grading system [for future reviews]

  • 0 to 20 = F
  • 21 to 40 = D
  • 40 to 59 = C
  • 60 to 80 = B
  • 81 to 100 = A

Final verdict

I give this game a 91, of the top ten highest forms of Grade A possible!


This was fun to address, and I hope I remember to review more games in the future. Thank you,



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