Remember the last time I reviewed a video game here? Neither do I. Well, I do speak of video games here as well. Anyhow, here is my review of Grand Theft Auto Four. I am only reviewing story-having games I completed the story of.
- I can only have gloves in the Windows version and even then only with a mod!?
- Aww… I only get Nine bounty hunt missions?
- Where is the Good Citizen bonus I remember from Vice City?
- No bounty missions from FIB or from the NOOSE team or anyone? Aww…
- The political humor is only true when touching Domestic social issues…
- Niko Bellic is a really great protagonist
- The game play with him is some of the smoothest of the 2000 to 2009 decade
- Roman Bellic is a very fun and funny character to observe
- Mikihil Faustin [am I spelling his name right?] is an amusingly crazy character
- Dimitri Rascolov is a very greatly memorable villain
- The FIB police car is a lot of fun to use
- As are the NOOSE team trucks
- In fact, all the vehicles are intensely fun to drive around
- The story is extremely compelling in all the best ways
- The graphics are exceptional for a game of 2007
- Michelle was a very fun romantic friend for Niko while she was canonically his girlfriend
- She also sometimes said funny stuff when inviting Niko to her home
- All the humor in this game is crazy-funny to me
- Even the political humor compensates for its lack of accuracy on economy and foreign policy by simply being phenomenally funny to laugh at and not with.
- Even though he was a very minor character, Vlad was a very intriguing minor villain
- The combat is actually the most realistic of any realistic fiction crime-drama game I have ever played.
- All the friends are useful in their own way
- Dwayne for example, if you choose to let him be a friend, will send a posse of armed people to help you out with whatever
- Little Jacob, as another sample, will sell Niko [you] discount firearms
- Jimmy Pegorino is amusingly sociopathic as a character
- All the McReary family is amusing in one’s own individual way
- Patrick McReary, for example, is a cocky guy with a huge amount of bravery and of loyalty to Niko as a regular friend
- Francis McReary has an interesting back story, as Patrick puts it in very minimally different wording: “Francis originally, wanted to be a priest. But he got kicked out of the seminary for cheating God. Became a cop instead.”
- Plenty of clothing options for a game of this kind in 2007
- Innumerable in-game recreation options
- One of these options is you get to watch in-game satire shows, including a cartoon
- Another is you get to go bowling
- You also have the option of seeing a comedy or non-comedy show
- There is even an in-game internet surfing system
- Darts is a game you can play in the bars with a friend
- When you get Niko and a friend of his drunk they are hilarious in what they speak of
- It is funny to me how driving one in-game inch drunk magically gets the police after you even when the nearest officer is, hyperbolically, many in-game miles away
- There is even a pool-playing option as well
- All the different parts of Liberty City have unique names
- Alderney is a fun little place to explore, especially driving up the highway bridges there at 400 miles an hour.
- Plenty of amusing music on the radio stations in-game although I never use the stations
- There is a guy that can be found at Burger Shot or at Clucking Bell interchangeably who says funnier things then I think I will ever hear fast food workers say in real life
- There are nine bounty missions you can get in Alderney
- There is also a system with police cars where the police computer allows you to explore “Most Wanted”
- Algonquin has the most different things to do of all the islands
- Bohan is a fun little island, even if there’s a medium number of things to do there.
- Dukes, the island you start off at, has a funny name origin according to the in-game history TV show
- Dukes also has a neat little airport to play around in and get a 4-star wanted level from doing so
- Going to a car wash doubles as going to get your car repainted
- The LCPD [in-game police] have a 6-star scale of mindsets that makes sense to me
- There is a website in the game you can go to for an instant five-star wanted level should you want any in-game combat
- There are phone numbers you can plug into Niko’s phone as cheat codes
- Each cheat code looks a lot like magic. Fascinating…
Grading system [for future reviews]
- 0 to 20 = F
- 21 to 40 = D
- 40 to 59 = C
- 60 to 80 = B
- 81 to 100 = A
I give this game a 91, of the top ten highest forms of Grade A possible!
This was fun to address, and I hope I remember to review more games in the future. Thank you,